(Bumped again by popular request) My Really Exceptional Stuffing (I made this up myself)

 

Stuff this guy!
Stuff this guy!

 

2 Boxes of Gourmet Seasoned Croutons – Crumble a bit with your BARE HANDS so they aren’t so lumpy (DON’T USE GARLIC CROUTONS!!!)
3 Celery Stalks – chopped 
1 Big Onion – finely chopped – FINELY! FINELY MEANS FINELY
1 Granny Smith Apple – chopped
1 Bulging handful of Golden raisins – (make sure they are dropping on the floor from your hand when you transfer them to the big bowl across the kitchen- that’s how you know you have enough)
2 sticks of BUTTER (the better to kill you with!!!)
1/4 Cup Ice Water
3 Eggs – Beaten within an inch of their life
Melt Butter in an attractive, copper bottomed pan reminiscent of Julia Child. Throw the celery, onions, apple and raisins in the melted butter. Bubble around until the onions and celery are translucent. Taste them a lot. Beat the eggs during this interlude. Pour the celery, onions, apples and raisins over the crumbled croutons and stir and stir until mixed. Taste a lot before you add the eggs. Add the eggs. If you are feeling Russian Roulette-ish, taste again once the eggs are added. With a zig zag motion, pour the cold water over all and stir, stir, stir. STUFF THE TURKEY. Place left overs in a pretty casserole dish, choose the little one you received when you got married from a distant non relative friend of your mother who you called Aunt Patty, this type of casserole works best. If you do not have a non-relative named Aunt Patty who gave you a simple, yet pricey casserole dish, Pyrex works just as well. 
I LOVE MY STUFFING~~~~
 
UPDATE: Three people have now asked for my recipe – on this blog I call that a quorum – I think I will make it a tradition! I have not been blogging much lately. I needed a little break. But, I think I have some blog ideas brewing.

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